The Adventures of Systems Boy!

Confessions of a Mac SysAdmin...

Abusive When Harried

I've determined that approximately 75-80% of all technical questions can be accurately answered with the response, "Because you are a dumbass."

  • Q: Why isn't my computer working?
    A: Because you are a dumbass.
  • Q: Why did my computer freeze?
    A: Because you are a dumbass.
  • Q: Why can't I log in to the server (x)?
    A: Because you are a dumbass.
  • Q: Why can't my browser read the website (x)?
    A: Because you are a dumbass.
  • Q: Why can't I get online?
    A: Because you are a dumbass.
  • Q: Why can't I find my file (x)?
    A: Because you are a dumbass.
  • Q: Why is this piece of technology (x) so slow?
    A: Because you are an unbelievable dumbass.
Seriously folks, computers have become exceptionally reliable and predictable. If something's not working, well, frankly, it's probably your fault.

Now leave me alone. I have work to do.


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8:20 PM

Preach It, Brother.    

2:51 AM

Hmm.... I see the OSX polite crash (i.e. kernel panic) perhaps more often you do. Hmm... using Maya, using 3dEqualizer, maya, and more maya. They even made a t-shirt out of the "unexpectedly quit" dialog box around here. What's so unexpected about it?    

4:46 PM

Okay, maybe I should say our computers have become exceptionally reliable and predictable. Kernel panics? Ew!    

8:05 PM

I was going to ask why you only said 75% - 80% when your sample clearly shows the rate was much higher; but then I realized the answer...    

8:56 AM

So what happens if people are as smart as you about their systems? Do they, in fact, need you? Or, are you just redundant? As a systems administrator myself, I find this attitude repugnant and self-aggrandizing.

Yes, the PEOPLE you support get themselves in hot water. It's what they do. We get them out. Or, if we are really doing our jobs right, we keep them out of hot water in the first place. It's what we do. It's what we are paid to do.

Calling your co-workers dumbasses, especially in a public forum, is a juvenile way of putting-down those that do not share the same enthusiasm for computing that you do.

Please, do grow up.    

11:00 AM

Yes, and I find people who can't tell the difference between a rant and an actual opinion about people, to be incredibly arrogant and self-righteous.

If you read through this blog and its comments you'll see that I spend a great deal of my free time happily doling out useful advice to total strangers. Clearly I don't generally have contempt for most people by and large, and certainly not for my co-workers.

In fact, at no point in my rant do I mention my co-workers or any specific individual at all except for the person I linked to who deleted a key system component that hosed his systems and then called Apple's OS X unintuitive.

As a systems administrator, every now and then I need to vent some of my more negative feelings related to my job. This is a common need in many professions. I choose to do so here, in a public but anonymous forum for a variety of reasons. I won't go into them all. Suffice to say, it's therapeutic for me, and maybe for others as well from time to time. It helps me do my job better. If you don't have those feelings or needs, then you are a robot. Please stop reading my blog.

Thank you.


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